Head Cannon Presents - Mary Poppins Returns (A Dirty Sons Of Pitches Special)

Okay, so its the holidays, and I didn't have time to edit the next episode, so I'm cross posting this for the week. If you don't listen to either of my other podcasts, sometimes on the Dirty Sons Of Pitches we do a thing called What The Hell Did We Just Watch?, where we deconstruct a movie that we both saw that made use angry, confused, bewildered, or all of the above. We recently did one on the new Mary Poppins Returns, because it kind of broke us. I don't like to do this, since it feels like a cop out in lieu of a new episode, but this happens to be the most fun I've had on a podcast in a while and maybe one of the funniest I've been a part of in some time as well, so I think its a fine exception.

New episode next week, a Franchise Retrospective that features my new worst movie watched for the podcast. That's right, worse than Project Metalbeast, worse than Robin And The Dreamweavers. Even worse than The Invisible Maniac. See you in 2019.

Download HERE or on Itunes HERE

Head Cannon - Episode #020 - A Wind Named Amnesia

This week, its a special choice episode where I dispense with the randomization and pick a movie I just want to watch for the hell of it. My selection is the 1990 anime film A Wind Named Amnesia, a movie I watched as a kid while looking for boobs on the Independent Film Channel, instead discovering a world of mech robots and post apocalyptic tragedy that sparked an abiding love of Japanese Animation in me that persists to this day. It also has boobs in it. 

Download HERE or on Itunes HERE

Head Cannon - Episode #019 - Planet Of The Vampires

This week, I take on the 1965 Mario Bava film Planet of the Vampires, a movie definitely set on a planet with literally no vampires. Not even like there might be vampires somewhere else on the planet we don't see. It's an alien world with the only life, undead or otherwise, clearly indicated as decidedly not vampiric. Enjoy

Download HERE or on Itunes HERE

Head Cannon Presents - Delgo! A Saturday Night Jive Crossover

This week, Head Cannon crosses over with my other podcast Saturday Night Jive, where my brother and I take on the specially requested animated film Delgo. For the sake of consistency, I won't go into further detail, so that this description is as mediocre as the movie itself. Also, I'm a lazy piece of shit, which is a bigger twist than anything in the movie Delgo.

Download HERE or on Itunes HERE

Head Cannon - Episode #018 - The Assignment

This week, I take on The Assignment, the somewhat controversial straight to video action film about a forced gender reassignment surgery on the wrong guy slash girl. It's incredibly underwhelming, but my pitches for the franchise are at least whelming or better. Enjoy.

Download HERE or on Itunes HERE

Head Cannon - Episode #017 - Project Metalbeast

This week, I take on Project Metalbeast, a movie that should have been about cyborg werewolves, but wasn't. This movie cheated me out of the coolest thing ever, and it doesn't deserve its bad-ass title or Barry Bostwick. I try to salvage my disappoint by pitching much better movies vaguely inspired by this shitty one. I think I mostly succeeded, but admittedly it was a low bar. Enjoy?

Download HERE or on Itunes HERE

Head Cannon - Episode #016 - Matango: Attack Of The Mushroom People

This week, I munch on Matango, a Japanese monster movie about killer mushrooms that terrorize a crew of shipwrecked vacationers, and by terrorize, I mean they don't really show up until the last twenty minutes, and then just sort of shuffle around and laugh maniacally, unless you're stupid enough to eat them even after you've been told they're poisonous. They're mushrooms, what are you gonna do? 

Download HERE, or on Itunes HERE

Head Cannon - Episode #015 - Collision Course

This week I take on Collision Course, a delightful buddy cop movie from both the 80's and the 90s where Jay "Poopy Butt" Leno and Pat Morita doing a funny voice team up to solve racial tensions in economically depressed Detroit. Spoilers: This movie contains the greatest sequence in the history of film.

Download HERE, or on Itunes HERE

Head Cannon - Episode #014 - Robin And The Dreamweavers

This week, I take on Robin And The Dreamweavers, a movie with XXX Big Boobs and other things that help with search engine optimization, because for some reason people who search for podcasts still look up porn that they can listen to I guess. This movie is garbage, but the podcast sifts through the trash like always.

Download HERE, or on Itunes HERE

Head Cannon - Episode #013 - Golden Needles

This week, I take on the Joe Don Baker Kung Fu classic Golden Needles, a wacky globetrotting scavenger hunt for an ancient Chinese acupuncture model promising orgasmic immortality to whoever is willing to commit arson or wrestle naked old dudes to possess it. Yeah, this one was weird. The phrase "montage of dick explosions" comes up at one point. Enjoy.

Download HERE or on Itunes HERE

Head Cannon - Episode #012 - Fade To Black

This week I take on the 1980 horror flick Fade To Black, a character study of a young movie nerd who busted out cosplay before it was cool and before there were interesting pop culture icons to dress up as. So instead we get Hopalong Cassady. Ugh. Sorry for the weird edit at the beginning, but I'm bad at editing podcasts and too lazy to go back and correct a simple mistake. 

Download HERE or on Itunes HERE

Head Cannon - Episode #011 - The Lost Empire

Welcome to Season Two of Head Cannon! This week I take on my first Jim Wyrnowski movie - The Lost Empire from the year of my birth 1985, a cheesy riff on old serials filled with boobs, boobs, and more boobs. And also some boobs.

Download HERE or on Itunes HERE

Head Cannon Presents: Movie Matters #3 - Venom (2018) and Sony's Alien Bukkake Fetish

Crisis on Infinite Podcasts! This week Head Cannon crosses over with my other podcast, The Dirty Sons Of Pitches, so my co-host Nate and I can talk about how terrible the new Venom movie is, and the important social issue of...how terrible it is? Okay, this is kind of cheating, but I don't have another place for this. Also, Venom fucking sucked ass.

Download HERE or on Itunes HERE

Head Cannon - Franchise Retrospective #001 - The Tetsuo Trilogy

This week, I tackle the first of many franchise retrospectives, analyzing an entire film series all at once. First up, the Tetsuo Trilogy, from Iron Man to Bullet Man. Drill Dicks, Hose Dicks, Gun Dicks. All sorts of dicks.

Download HERE or on Itunes HERE

Head Cannon - Episode #010 - The Manitou

This week, I take on The Manitou from 1977, a movie about a Native American Little Person wizard crawling out of a posh white lady's back neck folds in an effort to resurrect himself and...take over the world, I think? Or maybe not. It's never clear. Also Tony Curtis is in it. Enjoy!

Download HERE, or on Itunes HERE

Head Cannon Presents: Movie Matters #2 - Brett Kavanaugh Is A Rapist. Full Stop.

Is that title provocative enough for you? This week I talk about the new movie Assassination Nation, and then some other stuff. Stay tuned for a late breaking update, and then some stupid pitches you probably won't care about as much as the current event. #YouToo!

Download HERE or on Itunes HERE

Head Cannon - Episode #009 - In God We Tru$t

This week, Head Cannon tackles the 1980 cult classic In God We Tru$t, a religious satire from the guy with the weird eyes from Young Frankenstein. Its sacrilicious!

Download it HERE and on Itunes HERE.

Head Cannon Presents: Movie Matters #1 - A Black Superman !?!

Hey guys, I'll be back to regularly scheduled episodes soon, I promise, but in the meantime, check out the latest special episode, where I talk about the controversial, clickbaity news surrounding Henry Cavill's exit from the DCEU and the rumors concerning Warner Bros. casting Michael B. Jordan as the first black Superman. And then I watch a movie about the actual first black Superman...

You can download it HERE or on Itunes HERE

Head Cannon - Special Request Episode #2 - Tokyo Drifter

Check out the latest special request episode of Head Cannon, tackling the 1966 yakuza crime film Tokyo Drifter. I meant to post this last week, but then I didn't, because I'm a lazy piece of shit. 

It's an experimental art house crime thriller musical western, all genres I kinda hate mixed up unto something I kinda liked. Except for the musical part. Fuck that musical part. 

Download HERE or on Itunes HERE

Head Cannon - Episode #008 - Redline

Check out the latest episode of Head Cannon, about my new favorite movie, 2009's Redline. It's an anime about hovercar racing and big boobied mech robots. And dog people. And Donald Trump cyborgs. 

You can download the episode HERE or on Itunes HERE

Head Cannon - Episode #007 - Blood Dolls

New episode of the podcast is up, exploring the weird racist world of the 1999 Full Moon horror film Blood Dolls. 

Its a Puppet Master rip off made from the people who made Puppet Master, as well as a couple dozen other Puppet Master rip offs. But at least this one isn't Ooga Booga...or Rag Doll...how did one company make 3 racist killer doll movies? 

Download HERE or on Itunes HERE

Head Cannon - Episode #006 - Z.P.G. (Zero Population Growth)

Check out the latest episode of my podcast Head Cannon, analyzing the 1972 film Z.P.G. (Zero Population Growth).

Creepy robot babies, government funded brainwashing pay per view, and an abortion machine in every bathroom. Its heady 70's science fiction the way only the British can do, except its not actually British. Enjoy. 

Download HERE or on Itunes HERE

Head Cannon - Episode #005 - Big Shots

Hey guys, check out the latest episode of Head Cannon, about the 80's coming of age comedy Big Shots. Just look at that poster. You know you want to watch the shit outta those pimpin' little kids. 

You can download the podcast HERE or on Itunes HERE. 

Head Cannon - Episode #004 - Tourist Trap

Check out the newest episode of my new solo podcast Head Cannon, focusing on the 1979 horror film Tourist Trap!

It's pretty good, if you like movies with mannequins and Chuck Connors from The Rifleman in them. I pitched a 10 point cinematic universe for it, you know, like I always do. I think it was pretty good too. You should listen to me do that thing. Or don't, if you don't want to. 

Download it HERE or on Itunes HERE. 

Head Cannon - Special Request Episode #1 - Corridors Of Blood

Two episodes in one week? Have I gone mad or stopped caring about consistency? Yes. Also, check out the first special request episode of the podcast, focusing on the 1958 Boris Karloff film Corridors Of Blood!

Its a Boris Karloff body snatcher movie that isn't that other more popular Boris Karloff body snatcher movie, or that other Boris Karloff body snatcher movie, but maybe its just as good. Trigger Warning: The subject of Necrophilia does come up in one of my pitches. Enjoy

Download HERE or on Itunes HERE